Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Porcupine Experiment

I spent the week getting my ass kicked by some flu virus I must've never had. This thing has been lingering since the beginning of the month, but I thought it would never develop; just like every other year. Well, I'm one year older than last year and perhaps this virus is in it's late teens/early twenties so I'm getting a taste of my own medicine.
Anyway, having this flu run me down, leaving me 3-nil at the half, isn't really what's bothering me. What has me pissed is that I gave into something that I never give in to - medicine. I've always had success at letting these things run their course and feeling a little uncomfortable along the way hasn't really bothered me as much as giving in to some symptom relief remedies from CVS. This time, however, for a few different reasons, I went out and bought a 2 pack that contained 1 Day-Quil and 1 Night-Quil, packaged neatly together so I didn't have to use the extra energy to pick up 2 things. The main symptom I was hoping to relieve was the coughing fits I was having; the ones that start with a little tickle in the back of my throat then turn into a dry-heave-gag until I end up in the bathroom with my head in the toilet wondering if I'm going to vomit or spit up a teaspoon of some clumpy, neon green discharge. It didn't take long for either of the Quil's to start to take effect. I immediately starting coughing more violently, running to the bathroom sink only to be shooting blanks, no phlegm or teaspoon sized noen-green discharge - just an excruciating ab workout and the thought that my superior athletic fitness needed a double dose of the Quil and I would soon need to be back at the CVS (chronic virus shop) for some more.
It's dark now and the kids have eaten, bathed and are ready to settle down so I'm ready for the other Quil, the Ny-Quil. I've heard great stories about this baby, it knocks people out. Sounds good to me, I'll take a couple shots of this and be out for the night. It says right on the label - Cough - all night relief. Well, as I'm sure you can guess, not my cough and probably not alot of people's cough. Yea, this shit knocked me out right away, about 7:30 actually, but was not strong enough to keep me asleep through my dry-heave-gag coughing. So, I can't sleep because of the violent coughing and am extremely drowsy. And now, I'm really pissed, especially since I have someone else to be pissed at besides myself and I seem to be coughing more than when I started taking the Quil.
So I slept on and off through the night perhaps feeling worse than if I hadn't taken the Quil, but feeling a little better today as the virus ages much faster than humans and even dogs. I think the flu virus, at least in my body, has a life span of about 1 week. This afternoon, however, I went and picked up a 4 pack, neatly packaged so I could grab what I needed, not too much, not too little, the perfect dosage. Three quarters through the recommended dosage I have not coughed in over an hour and the sinus pressure seems to be gone. I can only guess as to how well I'll sleep tonight and will never take a bite out of the porcupine again. It is the hen's eggs that I will derive my health from!


  1. Haha! It is not medicine that you are adverse to -- it is the type of medicine.

    Ever hot toddy?

  2. Just what the greatest doctor in the world would prescribe. Was that covered on your health insurance?

  3. Old Speckled Hen is over the couter, no prescription needed so it's not covered under the insurance, but, I'll need a prescription for the Hot Toddy. Had one once on a Christmas day, never knew they were good for the flu/cold - thanks for the tip Dr.